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Christmas time exposes the importance we place on connection with others and the value of community. As we enter the new year evaluating our sense of connection with friends, family and our community might be the resolution we could all benefit from?

I was walking to the shops today and saw someone wearing their Christmas jumper. It occurred to me that even the simple act of wearing a Christmas jumper is a means of connecting with others. By wearing that item, we show that we are part of a community of people who share in the celebration of Christmas. We might look to the person and smile; we demonstrate our shared culture. I doubt most people participate in this consciously, but this is part of what we are doing.

In the UK our culture is increasingly individualistic. We tend to value individual success and the immediate family unit over the wider family. Our ties to our local area and community are decreasing with the loss of ‘jobs for life’ and the ease of travel; and the decline of traditional organised religion which has impacted institutions like the church as community hubs. This isn’t true of all sections of UK society, with more collectivist cultures still common in Asian and African communities, where the interests of the group are valued higher than the interest of the individual.

The impact of Covid

Corona Virus has forced us all to dramatically change our contact with others in the last couple of years. Isolation, lockdown, home working and social distancing are just some examples of measures which reduce our ability to connect with others. The implications for our individual mental health are also becoming clearer with anxiety, and loneliness on the rise. However, for some the restrictions have acted as a break, a reset, a chance to re-evaluate how we structure our social lives.

As the new year approaches and resolutions are considered, maybe the quality of our connections with others is worth thinking about. Do you want more or less contact with loved ones? Do you want to change quantity or quality of the time spent? Are any relationships no longer working? Are you connected to your local community in any way, do you want to be? Has your work environment changed and if so what does this mean for your social connection to others?

…”human connection is an inherent need”

Our relationships with others are complex; our family history, relationship status, attachment patterns, life experiences, employment and personality are just a few of the factors which contribute before we look at structural issues around power and privilege. Healthy social connections with others will look different for everyone but one thing is certain: human connection is an inherent need. Social connection can lower anxiety and depression, help regulate our emotions, lead to higher self esteem and empathy, and can actually improve our immune systems. By neglecting our need to connect, we risk our mental and physical health.

So this new year consider if your social connections are working for you and if not think about how you can make changes. Some ideas to start you off might include:

• Reaching out to friends new and old
• Eating lunch in a communal space – especially as a home worker
• Asking someone for help when you need it
• Do a random act of kindness
• Introducing yourself to your neighbours
• Volunteering at a cause you care about
• Joining a new club or group activity

A counsellor can help

Working with a qualified counsellor is another excellent way to take stock of our lives, relationships, and social connections. Especially when we feel stuck, unhappy or unsatisfied and unable to pin point the cause. A counsellor can help you to explore these issues, identify patterns, blocks and opportunities.

If you feel alone or lonely right now and need support, there are resources available so please use them.

All the best for 2022

Simon